Short Joke Collection (2)

Man 1: I want to buy a gift for my girlfriend for her birthday but I don’t know what she would like. Give me a suggestion.
Man 2: Does she like you?
Man 1: Yes!
Man 2: Then she would like anything.

Man 1: What is the secret of your marriage?
Man 2: We go to the restaurant, have a candle light dinner and walk back home. I go on Fridays while she goes on Sundays.

Man sits down and stares at his marriage certificate…
His wife ask: What are you looking for?
He replies: The expiry date!

GF: One kiss and I’ll be your forever.
BF: Thanks for the warning!

BF: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
GF: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?

BF: For the last time I am telling you that I did’t come here to get insulted.
GF: Then where else do you usally go?

What is love? Girl asks to her friend…
Friend: It is like a dinner in the best and favorite restaurant…
Girl: And what about marriage?
Friend: It’s like a take home packet…

Boy: Do you have a pen?
Girl: Yeah!
Boy: Oh…it’s out of ink!
Girl: What? You’re kidding. It works!
Boy: It doesn’t work! Well, you try…go write your cell phone number here.

A couple arrives at the countryside…
“Honey this scenery leaves me speechless!” says she.
“Great! Then we’ll camp here!” replies the man.

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means…Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means With Idiot For Ever.

My wife came home last week and shouted excitedly. “Quick! Pack your bags! I’ve won 20 million USD on the National Lottery.”
“Where are we going?” I asked.
She replied “What’s this we – just pack your bags and get out you useless man.”

Husband and wife were fighting and husband said angrily, “I must have been an idiot when I married you.”
Wife said in return, “Sorry I was deeply in love at that time and didn’t notice that.”

អានផងដែរ៖ Short Joke Collection (1)

Joke: Would you get married again if I died?

Woman: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
Man: Definitely not!
Woman: Why not? Don’t you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.
Woman: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
Man: Okay, I’d get married again.
Woman: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
Man: (makes audible groan)
Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Man: Where else would we sleep?
Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: She can’t use them. She is left-handed.
Woman: (silence)
Man: Oh shit!!!

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Short Joke Collection (1)

Teacher: if 1+1=2, 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Students: Not fair teacher, you answered the easiest ones and leave the hard one for us.

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
Police: You’ll get your chance in court.
Man: No, no no! I want to ask the burglar about how he got into the house without waking my wife…I have been trying for years. ^^

Dad: i just created a fb account. can u teach me how 2 play?
Daughter: huh? u created fb…WTF!
Dad: what does WTF mean?
Daughter: oh, it means Welcome To Facenook.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an “I”.
Student: I is the….
Teacher: Stop! Never put ‘is’ after an “I”. Always put ‘am’ after an “I”.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Man: OK, give me the good news first.
Doctor: The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.
Man: Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?
Doctor: The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.

Little Lily: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Lily, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. It’s a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She is my daughter.
A: Oh I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.
A: ???

Boy: Will you kiss me?
Girl: No, I never will.
Boy: Did you hear what I said?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: What did I said?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: YES!!! ^^

Son: Dad, I’m hungry.
Dad: hi hungry. Nice to meet you.
Son: Dad, I’m serious.
Dad: I thought you were hungry…
Son: Are you kidding me?
Dad: No, I’m dad 😀

Man: Why did you make women so beautiful?
God: So that you will love them.
Man: But why did you make them so dumb?
God: So that they will love you.

Husband: Today is holiday n I want to have REST, so i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why 3?
Husband: 1 for u n 2 for yr parents?

2*2ជាអ្វី?

សំនួរមួយត្រូវបានបំផុសឡើង…2*2ជាអ្វី?
វិស្វករបានទាញបន្ទាត់មកវាស់វែងរួចក៏ឆ្លើយឡើងថា៖2*2គឺ​មាន​តំលៃ​3.99។
រូបវិទូបានបញ្ចូលបញ្ហានេះទៅក្នុងក្នុងកម្មវិធីកុំព្យូទ័ររួចក៏ឆ្លើយថា៖វាស្ថិត​នៅ​ចន្លោះ​3.98​និង​4.02។
គណិតវិទូគិតមួយសន្ធុះរួចឆ្លើយថា៖ខ្ញុំមិនដឹងចំលើយទេគ្រាន់តែដឹងថាចំលើយ​គឺ​ពិតជា​អាច​រក​​បាន។
ទស្សនវិទូនិយាយទាំងញញឹមថា៖តើអ្នកចង់និយាយទាក់ទងពីរឿងអី 2*2​នឹង​?
អ្នកតក្កវិជ្ជា៖តើអាចកំនត់សំនួរអោយច្បាស់ជាងនេះបានទេ?
អ្នកសង្គមវិទ្យា៖ខ្ញុំមិនដឹងទេ តែវាគឺជាប្រធានបទដ៏ល្អមួយសំរាប់​ជជែក​គ្នា​។
អ្នករៀនខាងពេទ្យ៖ចំលើយគឺច្បាស់ជា4ហើយ!
អ្នកទាំអស់គ្នាក៏ងាកមកសួរទាំងភ្ញាក់ផ្អើល៖ម៉េចក៏ដឹងច្បាស់?
អ្នករៀនខាងពេទ្យ៖ខ្ញុំទន្ទេញចាំមកចឹង!!! 😀